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What’s standing in your way?

What’s standing in your way?

Let’s talk about a little 4-letter ‘F” word shall we. Fear.

I know you have huge dreams and aspirations for your life and your business, just like me. What if I told you that the only thing standing in the way of achieving these dreams is you.

I know how scary it is to be the only breadwinner or struggling to make ends meet. Along comes that familiar feeling. Your stomach drops, your heart starts racing and your mind is spinning at a hundred miles an hour. Fear. What if you can’t look after your family, what if you can’t pick the children up from school because you can’t get away from the office, what if you’re depriving them, what if you’re a bad Mum, what if, what if, what if…

Fear is something that affects all of us – if you’re human anyway. It’s part of life. If you let fear get the better of you, it can become debilitating. It’s something you need to conquer, to be the best version of you.  Our deepest fear is often something completely irrational, it can show up in many different guises, and can literally stop you in your tracks.

I don’t want that for you, and it doesn’t have to be this way. By putting the right support structures in place to overcome your fear, you can take back control and fully embrace the confident woman I know you are.

Here are my 5 top tips for becoming fearless:

1. Fear is your friend. Fear is just your body’s way of alerting you to something that could be threatening. Try to get a sense of where the fear comes from. Is it something new, something you haven’t done before? Or is it an old memory of something? Acknowledge your body; tell it that you’re aware of where the fear is coming from and thank it for the heads up. Do not let it stop you.

If it’s something that you have an irrational fear of, like public speaking for instance, I would encourage you to throw yourself in the deep end and join a Toastmasters Club. Once you can face the fear, it will no longer have power over you.

TOP TIP: Bottom line is to feel the fear and then just walk right into it head on. Don’t let it hold you back. Acknowledge it, feel it, do it anyway. Fear is good, it means our body is doing its job. So embrace it and move forward.

2. Fear is an illusion. Once you know and experience what it feels like in the fear, it quickly dissipates. Keep doing the thing that scares you and you will soon build your confidence. I want to go back to my earlier example of public speaking, which is something I used to be terrified of. What I found is if I knew my subject matter, I was initially nervous but could soon relax into it. As soon as your body registers there is no imminent danger it starts to relax.

TOP TIP: Practise. Practise. Practise. This will make you more confident, and confidence helps to diminish the fear.

3. The power of meditation. It centres your mind and puts your body in a relaxed state, which is extremely good for dealing with fear. Fear originates in the mind, so when you quieten your mind, it immediately releases some of the fear. There are numerous other benefits to meditation like, releasing stress, aiding sleep, enhancing self-awareness and improving your ability to focus. Research shows that after an 8-week course of mindfulness practice, the brain’s fight or flight centre, the amygdala, appears to shrink.

TOP TIP: Make time for meditation daily. Even if it’s only 15 minutes make the time. The less time you have and the more stressed you are, is exactly when you least feel like doing it, but that’s the time you most need it.

4. The biggest differentiation between success and failure is confidence. As an entrepreneur you need to be supremely confident. Not in an arrogant way. But in a ‘nothing’s gonna stop me’ kinda way. You have to master pushing away all the doubts.

TOP TIP: If you aren’t already super confident then find a way to become that. If you aren’t quite there yet, then fake it ‘til you make it. Master this one thing and you’ll find you spend less time in fear and thinking about all the things that could go wrong.

5. Be decisive. Using your energy to worry, turning things over and over in your mind, rather than just taking action, is draining. Make a decision. Any decision. And do it quickly. You see the beauty of decisions is that if you make a wrong one, you can always make another decision to changes things again.

TOP TIP: Don’t be a procrastinator. Get out of your thoughts and into action.

I’d love to hear what you think of these tips. If you have any that have worked for you, please share in the comments below or on my social channels.

Go out there and be the powerful, fearless woman I know you are.


1 Comment

Questions to ask yourself mid-year - the life architect

[…] your year has been so far. To see the benefit you need to be completely honest with yourself, don’t let fear hold you back. Once you’re aware of what’s not going so well, you can fix […]

July 2, 2019 at 8:04 am

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